Living the Law of One - 101: The Choice by Carla L. Rueckert

Author:Carla L. Rueckert [Rueckert, Carla L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780945007210
Amazon: B00AE13N86
Publisher: L/L Research
Published: 2009-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

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64 “In My Room” was written by Brian Wilson and Gary Usher and recorded as the “B” side of a single, “Be True To Your School” in 1963.

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In terms of the q’uotation which began this section, I was being overstimulated by this disharmony and seeking avoidance of the cause by going to my room. There I could create my own atmosphere, put on the music I preferred and enjoy my own thoughts. I could keep my space tidy. It was wonderfully healing.

In my mother’s middle years, she became aware of the toxicity of this pattern of bullying. She broke the spell by forming a standard response to Pop’s debate gambits. It was, “You could be right, dear.” She learned to appear to engage, rather than refusing to respond. And because she agreed with Pop, he had nowhere to go. It was not a perfect solution but it did keep her energy body clear at yellow ray.

I would submit that when he died, my father graduated from third density with flying colors. He was a very service-to-others polarized person. He volunteered all his life with his music, playing in a “big band” which offered free dances to old folk’s homes each month. He sacrificed his burgeoning road career as a jazz drummer to take a lifetime day job as a chemical engineer so that he could feed his family. He volunteered to serve his country in World War II. After his retirement he drove older people to their doctors’ appointments and brought them “Meals on Wheels.” He was faithful to all the ethical ideals of his understanding, even when it cost him dearly. He attended church and had an active prayer life. He was a humble man. And he loved my mother all his life as best he could.

He was no villain. He was good, true and sweet, underneath the crust which growing up in the depression had created in him. He worked steadily from the age of five, peddling papers, not to earn money for himself but to help buy bread for his family. It left its mark. It was that crust which kept him from seeing the damage his “debate” gene did in the family pattern.

At the end of his life, he talked to me about how he felt about Mom. It was a revelation. He had stayed with her when things got rocky, he said, because she was more interesting than anyone he knew. He loved to talk with her. He never could figure out why she was so easily upset!

Our whole family system tended to create defended patterns because of Mom and Dad’s wrangling. My two brothers and I did not engage in the disharmony, for the most part. I, the oldest child and the baby-sitter, tended to go off on my own with my brothers and do things with them. Between us siblings, there was an atmosphere of peace and cooperation. If simple avoidance was my first coping mechanism in family matters,

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